Too Much Cheese

The bros at Epic Meal Time have been taking culinary excess to cartoonish extremes since 2010. They’ve stuffed Philly cheesestakes into sushi wrappers, baked cinnamon roll/cotton candy pizza, and-- in the video above—created the enormous All-Bacon Burger, which clocks in at nearly 50,000 calories and includes 25 pounds of pork. Their cheerful culinary abominations have garnered 800 million YouTube views and attracted the participation of celebrity guests like Arnold Schwarzenegger and Tony Hawk. The crew even has its own merchandise and mobile game.

So, by combining the 21st century model of Internet success with the 20th century model of the good life (or a gross parody thereof), Epic Meal Time has inadvertently created a perfect commentary on contemporary America, a place where "bigger and better" has become "biggest and weirdest."

In the video above, they also manage to embody our current racial confusion—without, one expects, quite meaning to. Listening to four white boys refer to themselves as “gangstas” and boast about “trill mobbin’” in mock hip-hop accents leaves one feeling almost as queasy as the sight of an entire block of cheddar being wrapped in raw bacon: you worry that if one doesn’t make your heart explode, the other will.

Net Neutrality, Naturally

Overall, we’re neutral about a lot of things—string theory, cashews vs. almonds, the artistic value of the “Finding Bigfoot” franchise. But one thing we’re not neutral about is Net Neutrality. We’re nuts for Net Neutrality. After all, the Internet is the arena in which we make our magic, the worldwide street fair in which we peddle our wares. If Big Cable has its way, that wonderful street fair will become an awful big-box mall, with only three or four chain stores that all sell the same products, and anything funky or interesting will be priced out. The internet will turn into Manhattan, for God’s sake!

The FCC is voting new Net Neutrality rules TODAY, and while things are looking good for the pro-Neutrality cause, no one should get complacent. Help seal the deal by visiting sites like the one below and making your voice heard.

DML Man of the Week

tumblr_mv1camZWxA1ruu90ro1_500 Because if Francis Albert Sinatra wants to drink a scotch while riding in his helicopter, then he will drink a scotch while riding in his helicopter. (Notice that none of the wind kicked up by the rotor knocks his hat off his head. It wouldn’t dare.)